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donnie darko | wake up

'I'm scared of looking like a desperate tit in a balloon.'

Why is my face so weird? And why is there a mirror right opposite my bed? Every time I look up I see my own face. It's quite unpleasant. Also why do I have a cold in August? I already had one in July. I never even get colds in the winter. Maybe I should go and live in the southern hemisphere so my illnesses are in tune with the rest of the planet. Maybe I should just eat more fruit. This is probably the result of that time in Salisbury/Bath/on trains eating basically nothing but junk food. Even though that was only three days. Where are my vitamin C tablets? Here, have a stream-of-consciousness post. I should probably be sleeping instead of typing right now. I can't find any cough medicine, either. I am going to die alone, upside down, on the floor of a pub toilet. Oh no wait that's not me.

I went to Birmingham for my Waterstone's interview today. I...think it went ok, possibly? I think job interviews are like exams, in that I can never tell how well I did, and also because I always come out thinking 'well that wasn't so bad' and then about an hour later I start second-guessing every single answer I gave and become convinced the whole thing was a disaster. I maay have mentioned Scott Pilgrim. Possibly. I said I watched a lot of films and she asked the last thing I saw, and I said that and later remembered that was a lie, the last film I watched was I Love You Philip Morris, but I think maybe that doesn't count because I didn't like it. Besides, she said Scott Pilgrim was funny. And then I was like YEAH THERE ARE BOOKS I HAVE READ THEM because I was desperate not to sound like a complete buffoon but I'm not sure it helped. I'm not sure what happened to my brain, actually. About the only question I even thought about beforehand was what my favourite book is, and I was all set to say American Gods and talk about how powerful I find Gaiman's writing (which makes me sound like a total dork but hey, in the phone interview I said I liked Wuthering Heights because 'it's just so passionate!' and I got through that) and then she asked me the question, and I thought of American Gods and for some reason started talking about This Is All by Aidan Chambers. Which, to be fair, is an amazing book, but I haven't read it for ages, so I started talking about how I liked that the different sections were written differently but I couldn't actually remember what was different about them, so I ended up going '...and yeah there's a massive twist at the end and it made me cry'.

Oh, and I watched the first four episodes of Grandma's House today. I quite like it. I hadn't even realised how much I have missed Simon Amstell. Although I would like to politely request that if he insists on being gay, could he possibly be a little bit less fucking adorable? It just isn't fair. In that one scene where he's making awkward conversation about cats with his painfully shy not-boyfriend I just wanted to crawl into my computer and cuddle them both. God bless the BBC for leaving the whole series online for far longer than is actually necessary.

Oh, I found my vitamin C. It is definitely time for bed now.